A Different Kind of Beginning

Normally, when I blog, I’m not doing so great mentally.

But today is different.

Today, I feel a sense of peace.

I feel a sense of ease.

And strangely enough, I miss getting my thoughts out—because I’m not used to speaking when I feel good. I’m not used to looking at myself and saying, “Zakiya, I’m proud of you.”

I’m not used to saying, “Divine. God. Spirit. Thank you.”

But here I am.

Today is January 1, 2026.

I’ve been on this journey for four years now. It’s gotten easier—and yet, somehow, it’s still hard. I’m still learning. I’m still growing. And I think that’s going to be true for the rest of my life… as it should be.

I feel like I’m undergoing a personal change.

Some sort of mental breakthrough has occurred—and honestly, it scares me.

It scares me because I feel like I’ve been here before. I’ve felt this clarity before. And then I let the weight of everything around me wear me down. I got lost in the sauce.

My hope is that this energy—this momentum—lasts.

Last year, I set goals. I quit habits… only to turn around and pick some of them back up. Still, I accomplished most of what I set out to do, and I am proud of that. But this time feels different.

This time, I’m not setting anything.

I’m not letting go of anything.

I’m just going to let nature take its course.

I’m going to flow—because flowing with Spirit is what I do best.

I’m ready to release outdated versions of myself.

The versions where I undervalued myself.

The versions where I didn’t honor my own worth—while preaching to everyone else about theirs.

I’ve finally grown past the phase of “Does God really love me?”

And just saying that out loud makes me cry.

Because it took me four years to feel God’s love. To understand that divine love is not like anything we’ve ever experienced as humans. It doesn’t compare.

The Divine… they’re my besties.

And if I were given the choice—would I do this all over again?

Absolutely yes.

The separation.

The isolation.

The pain, heartache, betrayal, confusion.

The growth.

The clarity.

Yes. I would do it all again.

Five years ago, if you told me I’d be a business owner, I might have believed you. But if you told me to this extent? No way. If you told me I’d have 47,000 followers on social media, I would’ve never believed that either.

But look at me now.

I can’t take credit for that, though.

That’s what happens when you step into your God-given purpose. It doesn’t make sense—but it works.

A house on the hill cannot be hidden.

That just came to me.

I’m scared.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

I’m terrified.

And I can’t wait to see all the good that God has in store.